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He and I agreed that night to stop seeing other people, and we went on to date for four months, which is close to a record amount of time for me.And after having sex with someone--apparently due in part to all the oxytocin that is released--I feel a I used to think I'd cut out all the "self-destructive" behavior in my life: After all, I quit using drugs, quit smoking and quit drinking (for the most part).I exercise all the time, eat as healthfully as I can, and am very careful about getting enough sleep. Heartthrob described above, I realize I can still be rather emotionally self-destructive.In the Heartthrob case, I hurled myself head first into a difficult situation, telling myself it will be worth it for the opportunity to get to know an interesting and very smart person who shares many of my interests--poetry, experimental music, fiction, theater, classic movies.(And for the opportunity to have hot hot sex with him! I wasn't thinking of the pain, and the havoc the situation might wreck on my emotional stability. If I'd told myself I was going to hold off a full two months before getting horizontal with Mr. Instead, because I didn't have a rule in mind, I let my sexual urges override my common sense.
4) Deciding on a priori time frame makes you feel (and seem) more in control of the situation. 5) Holding off can give you more clarity on the situation. When I start having sex with someone, a lot of what makes me crazy for him is simply the sex. And that can make me lose sight of everything else.